The Bachelors Party
by Seriously Nuts
Summary: Before there friends big wedding the guys and girls separate for the bachelors/bachelorette party, promising to be the most epic night of there life! Sequel to Bugging You, with Hangover type theme
1. Chapter 1

_**Ello loves! I thank you so much for your patience and waiting for me to do a spin off of 'Bugging You' and hopefully this is as good as the first one because sometimes the second ones usually aren't as good as the first! *worried face* Well I know my first thought was to do a spin off of Shikamaru handling Ino during pregnancy, but I think this 'Hangover' type theme is way more funnier.**_

_**I just pray it isn't played out already and you guys have read millions of stories like this! *again worried face* So without further notice, enjoy! O also beware that it is going to be some OOCness in this, so please spare me the Tenten wouldn't do this or Sasuke wouldn't do that thank you in advance!**_

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The day of there wedding was getting closer and closer and Ino couldn't be any happier! She was going to be a Nara, but if she had it her way she would be a Yamanaka and have Nara hyphenated in but NOOOO Shikamaru had to have his stupid traditional morals.

Blah…

If Shikamaru was so much of an 'old soul' and about tradition then she wouldn't be about to walk down the aisle already six months pregnant. That's right last time we have heard from these two was when Hinata had to go on a seduction mission (*wink wink if you've read the first story*) and Naruto hung out with them for breakfast one morning and gave there relationship a good push. In her point of view Naruto gave Shikamaru the push he needed to open up to her more and head towards marriage. They've been together since childhood and the chemistry and love was there for them it shouldn't have taken the damn genius this long to ask her for her hand in marriage!

Anyways…Ino couldn't be any happier rate now in her life, especially with the bachelor and bachelorette parties coming. Sure Ino couldn't drink, but still it was going to be a blast! Shikamaru was going to take Chouji, but sadly their best friend and teammate has a three-day mission on the day they leave for their trip. So he decided to take Naruto, Sasuke and Neji with him as they go to a resort in the land of water. He said that the resort found in water country was relaxing and there was no way the dobes (meaning just Naruto) could get him into much trouble when they are in such a tranquil village. He didn't need to explain himself because she trusted Shikamaru one hundred percent, especially after the long talk he had with her for believing Naruto about him and Temari, yes she over reacted that the strong attractive other blond might try to take her Shikamaru away.

"So Ino why did you pick to go to the land of lightning? Out of all places why go somewhere that is famous for its horrifying lightning storms?" Ino was taken out of her train of thought by Tenten's question. Tenten was helping her pack for she was a little slower being pregnant. Her and Neji came over today and being the old couple that they are arrived an hour early before Ino even asked her to be here to help. Ino gave a wide grin as she continued to pack her bags, "Isn't it obvious?! The hot springs are legendary there!" Tenten rolled her eyes at this and just laughed it off. Ino was so ready for this trip, she also heard about this neat hypnosis show going on there also they pick people in the audience and 'hypnotize' them.

This she had to see…She wanted to make it a surprise for the girls though when they got there.

Shikamaru walks in the room to see Ino finish packing and Tenten helping her, he looks in the floor next to the bed to see Tenten bags already there packed ready to go. He then looks in the corner to see his bags packed and were he left them, this trip was going to be such a drag without Chouji or Ino they kept him in his comfort zone when around. He was going to have to endure the legendary gay chicken-head ass avenger, the famous bipolar guy with the mouth always getting them (mainly himself) in trouble that's a 'cold-hearted' whiner and a loud mouth unstable man that should be in a mental institute. He could handle them just not all at the same time…troublesome. He looks over at Ino and Tenten who are staring at him.

"Are you having long conversational thoughts to yourself again?" Ino said shaking her head, at least try not to be so obvious about it man. Tenten mumbles to Ino something along the lines of 'he has issues'.

He ignores them though and walks in the corner to get his bags, "Troublesome women hn, I'm heading out to this bachelor's 'party' you're basically forcing me to attend with the three stooges. Try not to get into to much trouble on your vacation either." He walks up to her and the first thing he does is place a gentle hand on her growing stomach then he dips his head down for a kiss from her. Normally he wouldn't like such PDA in front of his friends, but no matter how much he doesn't want to admit it he was going to really miss her the next three days. Ino's heart fluttered like always when he actually initiates the kisses and allowed him to steal a heartwarming one, it's going to be such a drag these three days without having his-

'….wait did I just say something was going to be a drag?!'

Ino blushed a little after she realized Shikamaru was starting to rub off on her. Shikamaru smirked at her like knowing what her thoughts were and headed out the door to gather his stooges and head out. "I'll send you messages to let you know how the trip is no matter how bothersome and annoying it is." With that he was out the door. Ino hurried and packed up her things, she didn't want to be behind schedule on meeting up with the other two ladies. Sakura was as always going to be so dramatic when leaving Sasuke and Naruto will behave like Sakura when having to leave Hinata such weird people they can be. Even though she is guilty in forcing Shikamaru to go on this bachelor's party she was sure with Naruto and Sasuke around he would at least stay entertained…right?

Shikamaru had met up with Neji outside of Ino and his place, his bags also packed and ready to go. Not even being around the guy for more then a minute and he could tell the guy was about to whine about something already, "We're almost late in picking up the other two Shikamaru. Can't you be on time for anything? You're almost as worse as that Kakashi fellow." Shikamaru was so thankful that Nara men has the gift of tuning out nagging people…like Neji really shut up sometimes and maybe Tenten would stop abusing you.

As Neji realized he was being ignored by Shikamaru he rolled his eyes and just remained silent, like jeez Shikamaru was no fun to argue with. Then again he just really liked arguing with Tenten because she was abusive when angry…does that mean he liked being abused? Well it was a turn on sometimes…

Neji shook his head to rid himself of that thought he really did have issues. As they neared Naruto and Hinata's home they were surprised to see Naruto ready with him and Hinata waiting outside for them. Naruto gave them a grin as a welcome and turned to kiss Hinata, "Alright my sunshine of life! I'm headed out with the guys, be on your best behavior when out with the ladies, I love you!" Naruto practically yelled when he was doing a quick cup caking with Hinata who blushed at his actions but still returned them. "Oi! I will my adorable mischievous cuddle bear! I'm going to miss you so much! I love you more, o! Don't forget the cookies I baked for you for the road and I packed your favorite sleeping cap in the front flap of your duffel and-"

"Hinata he is a grown ass man! He'll figure it out, come on let's go already!" Neji said snapping a little at the two, they were already behind schedule man. Naruto and Hinata while still attached in a hug slowly turned their heads away from each other and towards Neji in a deadly way. "**Neji…don't make me act out of character please**." Hinata said while having an amount of chakra coming off her that did not promise sunshine and flowers along with baked cookies. Neji was a little taken back by this, but the look Naruto was giving him really made him quiet down, this made Shikamaru smirk so Neji did like being abused and dominated…weird on so many levels.

After getting there point across they focused on each other once again, Naruto kissing Hinata one last time as he began leaving with Shikamaru and Neji.

Sakura did NOT want Sasuke to leave with those immature (again just Naruto), rude, assholes on this trip. Who knows what those evil boys have up their sleeve to traumatize her pookie bear! It took her so long to become connected with him not just sexually but also emotionally it was like they always finished each other sentences! She did however owe all the progress to Naruto for bringing it to her attention, while he hung out with them when Hinata was on that mission (again you have to read the first story to get it) that advise really helped her and Sasuke's relationship. Sasuke and Sakura were currently waiting in there living room for the boys to swing by and pick him up, Sasuke could basically feel Sakura wanting to talk/whine about him going he was praying that if he just stayed quiet enough she wouldn't say anything.

"Pookie bear." Dammit!

"Pookie bear why do you have to go out with those immature, assholes! Why don't you just come out and hang with the girls and me? I'm afraid that with you hanging with those immature retards then you will fall back into your old habits and we worked so hard to break your emotional-"

"Barrier"….. "Barrier!"

As soon as Sakura finished saying barrier Sasuke quickly said it after her to make it seem like he finished her sentence. He has been doing that a lot lately and was becoming very good at it, it was something that made her happy and shut up because she felt as if he got the point. "Sakura you know the dobe has grown up, Shikamaru and Neji definitely shouldn't be a threat to you too. I assure you Naruto isn't that immature anymore."

"Paging Mr. Chicken faggot…Mr. Faggot, come outside we're waiting!"

Sasuke looked away refusing to make eye contact with Sakura for he could feel the intense glare she was giving him, "Look Sakura-"

"That would be you Mr. Chicken Faggot."

Giving her his own glare in return mainly because he hated people joking his perfect hair. He goes to pick up his duffel bag and swoops down to give Sakura a reassuring kiss, "Don't worry." With that he disappears outside with the others. He sees the devious smirk on Naruto's face and wants to do nothing more but bitch slap it rate off, "Hn Shikamaru you could have done without bring the dobe. Sakura's never gonna stop asking what we did on this trip now that Naruto is coming." Naruto did nothing but laugh at Sasuke's situation and the four of them now start their journey to their 'vacation'.

* * *

Ino was a good hour behind the boys, the girls were casually walking along taking a safe guarded route to their destination it would take them longer since they were going by foot and by this route but she was fine with that.

She was enjoying a cookie Hinata had baked for the journey and was rubbing her tummy happily…damn that girl could cook! She looked over at the cinnamon roll Hinata was eating and kicked the idea out of asking her for it, Hinata was very nice but she wasn't afraid to shoot you down with a tear causing 'no'.

She couldn't help the fact that Sakura and Tenten were in the background behind them arguing about something, "Sakura if you don't shut up already! You act like Sasuke was sent on some high-ranking mission, **IT'S A BACHOLERS PARTY** get over it." Ino rolled her eyes and tuned back out of their argument, it was nothing she wanted to hear about for she herself was tired of Sakura talking about 'what if's' happening to Sasuke it was funny at first the crazy imagination she had but once they realized she was serious it was annoying. To be honest she was sure Sasuke was probably relieved to have a few days without her, yes he loves her but sometimes Sakura can be too much.

Eh, she was sure her bachelorette party was going to be a blast whether Sakura got annoying or not besides what's the worst that can happen?

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**_That's the end of that chappie, I really hope you guys got a good feel of it and like were I'm headed. I think the real humor is going to be found in chappie 3 and up! Well I hope you guys liked it so far and please don't forget to review and give me some of your insight! Might make the story funnier! Till next time guys!_**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Ello everyone! Glad to see you guys are warming up to my story and that some have re-read my other stories :) Well don't want to keep you waiting hers another chappie!**_

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They've been traveling for a good two days (They're vacation time doesn't start till they arrive at there destination) and Shikamaru and the guys finally arrived to the resort in Water Country. They arrived at the resort and were about to check into there two bedroom sweet.

"**Two bedroom**? O hell no, I am not sharing a bed with one of you two losers." Neji crossed his arms and stared heatedly at the young men before him then turned back towards the receptionist, "Ma'am do you guys have a pent house kind of sweet, it's my comrades bachelors party tonight and I don't want him spending it sharing a bed with us." The receptionist was a pretty hefty sized lady with a hair face basically forming a goatee she was eyeing Naruto up and down like he was a delicious cake.

"Mmm we do have a sweet on the top floor of the resort, has an amazing view and is most recommended. It is a little pricey $2,500 for your entire stay there instead of your two bedroom $150. But how's about this, if you bring this smexy tanned hunk of cake down to check out with me I'll bring it down to $1,500." The chubby lady winked at Naruto and he could have sworn she was wheezing to breath. Shikamaru ignored the lady and gave Neji a 'wtf' look, "Look man, I'm about to be a father and even if we split it I can't afford to be spending like that."

Neji simply rolled his eyes at this and stared at Shikamaru bored, "Shikamaru I come from a clan with money, don't worry you're not paying a dime on this trip." Shikamaru was actually shocked for once Neji wasn't complaining or being an ass.

"Uchiha pay the lady."

Neji turned and smirked at Sasuke who just looked at him like he lost his mind before saying no, "O stop being such a cheap ass hole, Shikamaru is one of the people that made sure you didn't get the death penalty for being a traitor the least you can do is pay for the hotel room. We all know you're loaded anyways." Shikamaru held the laugh threatening to come out of himself, so Neji's nagging finally lead to good use. Sasuke turned his head to the side to hide the dusty pink blush, "You don't understand I can't give you the money, If Sakura finds out I spent money like that and she will find out she would think I was with a hooker or trying to build my own underground villain team or some dumb shit. Bottom line I wouldn't hear the end of it from her and the mind numbing personal time would never end."

Neji and Shikamaru just stared at the man in front of them…. _**is he freaking serious!?**_ The almighty Sasuke bowing down to the pink haired banshee?!

"WOULD SOMEONE PAY THE DAMN THING! THIS LADY WONT STOP TRYING TO GROPE ME!" Naruto basically begged, for the receptionist wouldn't leave his ass alone, "Stop it ya nut!" Which in return actually made the lady even more interested in him, apparently she likes her men to fight.

"OKAY!" Sasuke groaned in defeat, he did owe the Nara whether he liked it or not and ended up paying the lady who in return gave them the keys to the pent house room, but before giving Naruto's ass a nice squeeze. Naruto pushed the heavy lady away and rushed to the room.

Shikamaru opened the room and the guys were shocked to say the lease, the room was breath taking. Looked like something you would only see off the movies and had more rooms then three, along with that a giant kitchen and giant living room with a full entertainment system and an upstairs bar. Also with that the view, well the view was just**_ amazing_** you could see the whole village from there and a beautiful waterfall view. This view had Naruto's secret spot beat!

"Damn, look at this place." Shikamaru was in awe, Neji turned and smirked at him "You're welcome." Shikamaru gave Neji a look before grinning, "Yea, thanks Uchiha." Leaving Neji with a scowl and a grunt, Sasuke grinned at this before going to pick out his room. Shikamaru looked over to Naruto who seemed to have picked out his room and was heading outside the room, "Yo Naruto where are you headed off too?" Naruto gave Shikamaru the **_'don't trust me'_** devious grin before he spoke, "To get us some drinks man! Can't have a night out on the town without liquor!" Before Shikamaru could protest Naruto vanished out the pent house. He just ended up shaking it off before finding the master bedroom room, deeming it as his and relaxing on the beyond comfortable bed. He wondered if Ino was having it this good rate now?

* * *

The girls had made it to Lighting and were a little hungry so they stopped by near a shop before heading to the awesome hotel. "And I will like to purchase some flavored water please!" Sakura said as she placed it on the counter with Ino and Tenten's stuff to be purchased. Tenten was watching Hinata out the window of the shop, she was currently outside swinging her legs back and forth on a bench waiting for the girls to come out reading a book. An elderly man comes up to her and compliments her on her choice of reading, "Young lady that is a nice book you're reading-"

"**Back off old man**." Hinata snapped her cold Hyuuga eyes towards him silencing him quickly and sending him on his way, she then continues to swing her legs humming while she reads her book.

"Is she alright?" Tenten asked, looking a little disturbed by the bi-polar action. Ino looked at Tenten a little confused, "What do you mean?" Tenten continued to look out the window, "Like is she…alright in the head? Ever since she's been with Naruto…I just think he's rubbed off on her too much." Ino laughed at this and waved it off. Sakura pulled out a scroll from her pouch, "Aww I finally get a chance to read what Sasuke sent me in this message!" Ino rolled her eyes, "You know Sakura, I'm surprised Sasuke is taking nice to your clingy actions. And I've heard about that Karin chick and how much she likes-"

"I know for a fact that Sasuke-kun doesn't like that girl!" Tenten grinned at Sakura, "O really? How?" Sakura closed her eyes and smiled a triumphant smile talking in a 'know it all' manner, "Because, he said he doesn't like girls with unnatural hair colors."

….

…..

…..

Ino and Tenten chose to ignore this and not even look at her, "Sakura…just pay for the stuff." Ino said as she put on her police reflector glasses and walked out the shop. She walked over to the bench Hinata was sitting on and sat on it, Hinata looked from her book over to Ino lazily "Sakura?" Ino nodded her head in approval and Hinata grunted before returning back to her book.

They finally arrived to their hotel and got their big spacious room, "Alright girls, time for my surprise for you guys! One, I don't care if you guys drink your heads off and two there's this magician act tonight were the guy hypnotizes people and I signed myself up earlier when we came into town to see if it works. Cha! You guys get to witness me doing some crazy stuff!"

Sakura and Tenten stared bored at Ino and rolled there eyes, "You always act crazy Ino…**nice surprise**." Sakura ended with sarcasm and grinned at Ino's red face. Tenten also couldn't help but laugh at Ino's kind of lame surprise, Hinata on the other hand was smiling goofily for she was really interested. "Ino that sounds awesome! I can't wait to see" Tenten and Sakura looked at each other before Tenten mouthed that Hinata was crazy.

"Thanks Hinata! You're never a party pooper unlike these lames. Lets get dressed and I'll watch you guys get wasted for a bit before we go." Ino said giving Hinata a thumbs up before heading to the bathroom to shower and get prepared. As the girls were going there separate ways to get ready Hinata headed towards the front door preparing to step out, "Oi Hinata! Where are you going?" Sakura asked with a confused face.

"Ano…to get us some drinks. To…to 'pre game' with." Hinata looked so shy and out of place saying this Sakura just waved it off and told the girl to hurry back. While shutting the door behind her Hinata had a grin from ear to ear.

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Shikamaru was just about ready to head out, the sun was setting and like the old man he acted like, and he didn't want to be out to late. Naruto came bursting in his room, while he was putting his hair up in his traditional pineapple ponytail, holding a few bottles of alcohol and grinning crazily. Shikamaru eyed the blond crazy before giving him a tired look, "Eh, what are you doing with all those bottles? There's no way in hell we can finish all those up in this trip." He looked Naruto up and down happy to see the loud mouth was at least dressed already, wearing a button up black collared shirt with a orange tie hanging loosely around his neck black dress pants with an orange stripe going up on both legs and some dress shoes. He was sure Hinata picked out his decent looking outfit.

"Man! We're going to drink it all tonight!" Shikamaru looked over at Naruto like he was insane, "Are you-"

Neji came bursting in interrupting him with Sasuke in tow, "Finally we're all here, now shut up I have an announcement." Neji pulled out a velvet purple ring box out of his black suit pocket and opened it up to show a diamond rock that would make any girl jealous with chocolate covered mini diamonds surrounding it in a heat shape. Sasuke's eyes lit up in shock, "Is that what I think it is?"

Naruto looked at the ring and whistled in awe, "Damn man, that's a nice rock!" Shikamaru just looked at it and grunted with approval, "Guess you're going to ask her pretty soon huh. At my wedding maybe, after everything is over and everyone is relaxing." He was more like telling Neji for he would be damned if he ruined Ino's big day and **_HE_** would have to hear about it for the rest of his life.

Neji rolled his eyes, the Nara guy was just too smart sometimes, he looked over to see Sasuke staring at him like he was crazy, "What are u gawking at Uchiha?" Neji didn't like Sasuke that much anyways.

"Why are you marrying her?" Naruto looked at Sasuke, that was a very rude question! "Teme! Because he loves-"

"**She beats him!**" Sasuke said pointing at Neji, "She puts him in the hospital even!"

"Hey! That was only once and I deserved it." Neji defended himself...kinda, Sasuke just rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall, "Hn. I rather be physically abused then emotionally Sasuke." Shikamaru said with a smirk on his face as he looked at an angry Sasuke, "Haha yeah I'm glad I stopped pursuing Sakura and you started. Thanks teme, you saved me from that disaster." Shikamaru and Neji had to hold Sasuke back from strangling Naruto. "Hey chill man, troublesome...by the way Neji where did you get a nice rock like that for Tenten?" Neji placed the small box back in his pocket so he could put it safely up later, "It belonged to my grandmother she first got it around when the nine tailed fox attacked our village so it's been around for a while."

"Damn I didn't know you got rings for that! I deserve one!" Naruto said a little jealous and angry.

…..

….

…

"You gotta be shitting me." Shikamaru said placing his hand over his face.

* * *

Ino was adding the last finishing touches to her makeup before Hinata knocked on the door quietly and peeked in, "Hinata you don't have to knock, come right on in!" Ino looked over to the shy girl and noticed how stunning her violet dress was, she showed just enough skin to leave the men wondering. Only man that would know what beauty that girl holds is Naruto Uzumaki and only he. Her makeup was light but still noticeable, she looked amazing.

"Ano Ino, I got some drinks for me and the girls we are planning on drinking once at the show, but first a toast before we head out I have some ginger ale for you." Hinata handed Ino the glass of ginger ale as she motioned for the other girls to come in, "Okay ladies here's to a night to remember!" The girls made all made there first toast and downed there drinks they all made a sour face as they took in there alcohol except for Ino who just grinned at them. As they poured another round Tenten began to speak, "Okay girls I just wanna say-"

"_**I have something to say**_." Hinata said looking around the room with wide eyes and head held high, the girls just stared at her a little shocked while she pulled out a paper from her small purse and began to read from it. "Before …Before I met you all I was a loner and a stalker might I add. All I had was Shino and Kiba and after I had a long talk with Kiba I learned that they were actually members of my pack, can you believe that?"

Sakura looked at her and tried to peak at Hinata's paper to see if she really wrote a question in the paper, "But now that I have met you guy I realize that yes other then Naruto, Kiba, Shino and Neji there can be more to add in my small pack. So tonight to make our pack legit we shall become blood sisters!" Hinata pulls out a small blade and starts to run it across her hand.

**_"O MY LORD STAHP!"_**

**_"MAKE HER STOP!"_**

"Hinata! Give me the blade sweetie." Ino takes the small blade from the girl who looks at her confused, "Is something wrong?" Ino was speechless for a second, who could wanna bring down the spirits of the sweet girl before them, "Umm no! It's just we don't need to cut ourselves to be blood sisters. I already deem you, Sakura and Tenten my sisters." Hinata smiled back up at Ino and took another swig of her drink, "Okay!"

Ino let a breath out, tonight was going to be soooo interesting.

Shikamaru was taking his second shot with the guys and surprisingly was feeling 'buzzed' already, he threw on his jack before heading out with the guys. Tonight was going to be soooo interesting.

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_**Okay end of that chappie, took me a while to do. So if you've seen the movie you can guess what roles each of them are playing, next chappie should be pretty funny! Well see you then!O and please leave some reviews for me :D**_


	3. Gorillas, Monkeys and a dead body?

_**Ello everyone I'm back! Feeling especially happy since I just read Episode 615 :) !**_

_**Anyways here's another chappie, hope you all like! I think it is hilarious that Naruto and Hinata are the comedy relief of the situation in a way, O and in this chappie Sasuke gets some special attention ;)**_

_**ON WITH THE STORY!**_

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Sasuke had the biggest headache he had ever experienced in…well ever! '_What the fuck happened last night?!_' He painfully opened one eye and took in his surroundings to see that yes he was in the hotel room, but no he was not in the awesome room he picked out. No he was lying on top of the bar they had in the room, what the hell he was doing sleeping on the bar he had **Nooooo** idea and as he realized that he was sure they must have had a insane night and he also needed to pee. So he forced the other eye to open and was getting up to relieve his bladder, he hopped off the bar and landed right on the sleeping Blonde…woman? With good balance Sasuke bounced right off her without falling, the sleeping woman looked much like a prostitute or stripper and woke up quick and in pain looking at Sasuke.

…. He blinks

….. She blinks

…...More blinking

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" The woman screams to the top of her lungs and uses all her force to punch Sasuke right in the nuts. Sasuke hunches over and his face turns instantly red, letting out an opera singer's high note. Even with all the pain he is currently experiencing he still manages to first wonder why no one has come out there rooms to see what the HELL was going on and second he grabbed the banshee by the hair and throw her out the hotel room.

'_Bitch'_

Satisfied with what he has done he remembers to empty his bladder so he heads to the bathroom. Upon making his way there he sees Naruto sleeping on the couch completely nude except a single layer of covers on top of his bottom section. It was beyond clear to him that something definitely went down last night, he just wasn't sure if it was awesome or not. Now at the bathroom door he looks down and sees Neji sleeping on the floor near the bathroom door, he had the idea to kick him awake for him to experience the hangover headache that he was sure was going to go to him but he changed his mind and just walked over him.

He drags himself to the toilet and begins to relieve himself, eyes closed and possibly dozing off again. He hears a grumble sound but ignores it….or maybe it was a growling sound?_ 'If that was the case then I should open my eyes.' _He ignores it until he feels pain, a lot of pain on his face. Next thing he knows he is opening his eyes against the bathroom wall, he just got punched! Some one just punched him in the **FACE**!

He turns to see the assailant thinking it to be Shikamaru or some other hooker, but sees a big black gorilla. This immediately makes him angry, this ape just hit him and hard too! "What the fuck you dumb ass-" The gorilla this time punches him in the nose, Sasuke quickly picks himself up and is now red with anger that he even let a animal harm him! Ready to take down the animal quick and with no such effort he is then surprised to see the gorilla let out a battle cry and sees the animals eyes glow with anger. The gorilla picks him up and throws him at the bath tub actually cracking the tub some, Sasuke picks himself up again quick and finally had enough of the gorilla and was about to fry the ape with a fireball, but was beat to the punch when he sees fire come out the animals mouth.

"You have got to be shitting me!" He easily dodges the fireball and makes his way out the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him. Forgetting that Neji was sleeping near the door he trips over the Hyuuga and falls next to him, Neji holds on to his stomach were Sasuke's foot painfully collided in. "Uchiha what the HELL is your problem! You-"

"Shut up! There's a crazy gorilla in the bathroom, he tried to freaking kill me!" Neji gets up and leans on the bathroom door looking at Sasuke like he is crazy, they both turn to see Naruto waking up due to the commotion. "Would you two shut up, my head is killing me!" Neji smirks as he sees Naruto grumpy over his hangover, "Silence you idiot, Uchiha here has been screaming like a little girl-"

_**CRRRRASH!**_

The bathroom door Neji was leaning on now has the angry gorilla's arm through it and now around Neji's neck. Both Naruto and Sasuke jump back screaming, "HOLY SHIT CAKES IT'S A GORILLA!" Naruto screams out throwing on his boxers and picks up a pillow to throw at Neji, "YOU IDIOT WHAT IS A PILLOW GOING TO DO! Holy crap this ape is strong! Uchiha what are you doing?!" Naruto and Neji look over at Sasuke as they see him nearing the door, "Screw this man! The Gorilla is crazy, he's like a ninja gorilla!" Soon both arms comes out the bathroom and are fully choking Neji, out of nowhere Naruto pulls out a syringe and stabs it in the animals arm and pushes the liquid inside of it into the gorilla. Not even five seconds later the gorilla arms goes limp and back inside the bathroom and they hear it pass out on the floor, Neji and Sasuke both look at Naruto like he was foreign. "Hey you never know when you need one of these things right?!"

* * *

Tenten knew something was wrong the moment she was feeling tipsy after the second drink, she had way more tolerance then that so she had no clue why she had a horrible hangover and can't remember anything from the night before. Now she was lying in the bathtub refusing to open her eyes because it pained her to even think, _'Man what a shitty hangover.'_ Deciding to get up from the cold bathtub she opens her eyes for the first time and takes in her appearance and her surroundings, _'Great, I'm only in my under garments tsk last night must have been sick!'_ She walks out the bathroom to see Sakura sleeping on the floor and Hinata and Ino are nowhere to be seen. Her eyes quickly catch something that ran from the corner of the room, she snaps her head over to that direction but misses the thing and then it is seen on the other side of the room and she snaps her head over there to just be met with an empty corner. "What the-"

"EWWWWW GET IT AWAY FROM ME!" Tenten snaps her head to see Sakura screaming out and sees a little monkey on top of her head. She couldn't help but laugh at the situation and at Sakura's misery, "Chill woman." She walks up to her and picks up the scared little monkey, "This creature wouldn't harm a fly." She laughs again when she sees the creature stick it's tongue out at Sakura. Ignoring the obscene cursing from Sakura, Tenten continues to look around the room from Hinata and Ino. With quick luck she opens the first door and seems Hinata kneeled over something on the floor, she walks up besides Hinata and looks at her and what she is looking at.

…..Hinata stares

…...Tenten stares

…...Monkey stares

"Hinata what the hell is that?" Tenten asked a little annoyed, why they were staring at something peaking through under a pile of clothes she did not know. Hinata turned her head towards Tenten in a creepy way and smiled a hollow smile at her, "Hmm I don't know Tenten, maybe the cute monkey can figure it out. I sent him out to find you and the others, Monkey taste it to see if it is food or something." Tenten looked at Hinata like she was crazy, she was sure there was something wrong with this woman. Just when she was going to say that animals don't understand humans the monkey jumped out her arms and onto the object gripping it to take a lick.

Blinking in surprise Tenten turns to see Sakura coming into the room, "Hey guys I….what the heck are you guys doing?" Tenten shrugs and tells her they're trying to figure out what the thing is. Sakura squints her eyes and leans forward like the others, "Is that a di-"

"HEY NOW, YOU GOTTA PAY FOR THESE LADIES!" A well built man jumps up alarmed and very much nude, "Hmm morning beautiful ladies" Sakura and the rest of the girls look at the man blankly in the face and then there eyes make it down to his 'package'. Hinata was the first to speak up, "You know on a normal bases I would blush very harshly and faint, but sir there is no umm…male body parts or anything here for me to blush over." Tenten and Sakura faces slowly turn to Hinata shocked and then they let out a hearty laugh at the man, "Hahaha! She has a point their sir you are practically a female."

The man covers himself and snatches up his clothes, he quickly throws them on glaring at the girls. "Yeah whatever, well it was cold! Either way you ladies still have to pay me for my services for last night." The girls finally stop giggling, "What? Why would we have to pay you anything, I think it is safe to say we are not very sure on what happened last night. If that's the case then you should tell us what exactly happened last night and where our blonde friend Ino is because I can't find her guys" Sakura said to the man and then to the girls, you could see that she was worrying a little.

"Of course anything for a **PAYING** customer." The girls rolled there eyes at the man and assured they will pay the man as soon as he explained the story, "Okay fine, as soon as I just get this fix right quick." The man pulls out this small plastic pouch and rolls out a small white ball, he immediately sniffs the white ball up and shakes it off like it was nothing.

Tenten immediately panics, "Oh my kami we paid for a crack head prostitute!" The man sits down on the floor and looks up at Tenten offended, "Hey you watch your tone! First off I am not a prostitute, I am an exotic dancer! And that was not crack, crack is wack and I would never do such a low class drug. My drugs are higher standards." Once again the girls fix the man with a strange stare, so he clears his throat and starts to talk again. "Anyways you ladies ready to-"The man begins to freeze up and shake...he then falls over and stops shaking.

The room is quiet for a while before Hinata reaches to the man to check his pulse, "I don't know how to tell you guys…but the drug addict stripper is dead." Tenten mouth hangs open and Sakura jumps up in frenzy, she re-checks the pulse to find that Hinata is right, "Well you're the healer, heal the man!" Tenten yelled bouncing up scared, "Heal what? I don't even know what the hell happened?!" Sakura yelled back at her, the two continued to argue back and forth for a while.

"Hinata!...Hinata please stop crying"

* * *

The boys sit at the hotels breakfast buffet and Sasuke and Naruto are eating when Neji walks up to them. "Ok I can't find Nara anywhere, he's not in the hotel room or anywhere in hotel for that matter." He sits at the table and runs his hands through his hair nervously, "Chill Nara is a grown man, he's fine. Besides he's not the one that got the shit beaten out of him by a gorilla on steroids and his junk punched by a psycho stripper." Sasuke said but started to glared at Naruto as he started to crack up about it, "Yeah well it's whatever now until it's time to check out and the lazy bastard is nowhere to be found, you explain that to his pregnant psycho soon to be wife." Naruto looked at Neji shocked and now worried, "Y-you think that he's really missing?"

Neji let out a tired breath and rested his elbow on the table, "I think we should look for him." Naruto looked down on the table completely bummed out now, he really hoped Shikamaru was okay. While looking down he looked at Neji's arm on the table and looked at his wrist, "He Neji? When did you go to the hospital?"

* * *

_**Annnndddd BREAK! Okie that's all I have for this chappie, I'm gradually trying to figure out what roles I want each of them to have it's fun picking them out though. **_

_**So tell me what roles you think Neji and Sasuke should have, it is clear which roles Hinata, Sakura and Tenten plays along with Naruto. Just not sure which one Neji and Saskue is gonna be settled in, I find myself juggling between the two. Hmmm?**_

_**O, yeah don't forget to review too! :) See ya 3**_


	4. Annulments and Monks?

**_Ello! I've been meaning to update this story, I moved it from the Shikaino section. Mainly because I know it has them as a couple, but I begin to see they aren't the main couple. Its more of a comedy and in the end it will be more of Naruhina anyways. Well I hope you still like the story, and I hope you new viewers enjoy!_**

* * *

And so the hospital bracelet led them here, to a small mini like hospital that looked like it was for the lower level citizens, Neji made a face of annoyance as someone coughed in his face. He really wished the man before him would hurry and find his files from the night before and tell them if he knows where the hell Shikamaru was, "Ah here you are, Neji Hyuuga right? Well you had just got a mild concussion and it seems you were under some type of drug." The three boys made a face towards the doctor before Neji spoke up, "No you must be mistaken, I don't do drugs. We were drinking last night so it must have been the alcohol."

The doctor gave Neji a bored expression, "Look it's not like I'm gonna report you as being a drug addict to the authorities or anything. I get guys like you in all the time, plus you barely had any alcohol in your system. What you did have in your system was a heavy dosage of Rohypnol, which common civilians use all the time at parties and to rape someone." The doctor said this so calm and continued looking through Neji's file, the boys however was looking at Neji in shock. "Are you saying I was RAPED?!" Neji actually looked afraid especially at the thought of infidelity, "Hmm well….no." The doctor did a quick scan and saw that the Hyuuga was unharmed in that manner.

"However I think you all had it in your system because you were all acting wacked out of your mind like Mr. Hyuuga here. You guys look like you have good jobs so you watch out and don't make this drug a habit." The doctor put on a serious face expression and pointed his finger close to Naruto's face, who got crossed eyed trying to eye the finger. Sasuke slowly moved the offending finger out the way, "Look Doc, our comrade is missing. Was he with us last night? Tall guy, dark hair, lazy looking?" The doctor thought for a moment, "Hey it was really crowded last night so I wouldn't be sure if you had someone with you or not."

"Uh come on, he had a pineapple shaped head!" Naruto blurted out in desperation, causing Neji to glare at him, "Moron! That's a horrible description-"

"Ohhh! The pineapple head, tall guy with dark hair Shikamaru was his name right?" Neji face palmed at that moment, he was certainly surrounded by idiots.

"Yes he was there with you guys, but look I seriously have things to do. It's called SAVING LIVES, besides I really don't remember that much." Neji took a deep breath and pulled out some money from his pocket and started waving it in the doctor's face who was washing his hands, "Look sir, would this help you in jump starting your memory?" The doctor looked at Neji and then the money, "Hmm okay, tuck it in my pocket and walk with me." Neji did as the doctor told him and they all walked down the hall to the doctor's next appointment. There stood an elderly man in the white hospital room who could be in his 80's, the doctor was listening to his chest at the moment. "Like I said, you guys were all wacked out your mind what else is there to say? Okay I'm going to need you to give me three good coughs okay Mr. Sketch?"

Sasuke was about to ask the first question when the elderly man coughed right in his face, causing him to smell the mans foul breath and scrunch up his face and start gagging. "Uhh I think Sasuke here was going to ask you umm, was there anything that we talked about last night that was catching to you? Anything that could be helpful? Naruto was having a hard time staying focus because now the doctor was removing the elderly man's robe. "Hmm you guys kept talking a lot about a wedding you guys attended, blonde here kept saying 'you are so dead'. Okay Mr. Sketch give me three good coughs now." Sasuke this time moved out of the mans way as he coughed, he looked over at Naruto who seemed to be in a trance at the mans…lower region's reaction to him coughing. Neji rolled his eyes at this, they were getting nowhere! "Okay that's enough, I want my money back you don't have a clue what the hell happened last night. Of course we would bring up the wedding, he's the one getting married!" The doctor haled up his hands stopping Neji, "Hey hey, look this might help. You guys said the wedding was so cool at the Icha Icha chapel, so if you go there you'll find some useful help." Neji felt more at ease by this and pulled out a pen and paper, "Okay that's helpful, do you know the address to this place?"

The doctor stared at the three boys before saying something that's going to put him in a lot of pain, "Yeah it's on the corner of go find a fucking map."

* * *

"So where did you dump the body?" Sakura asked Tenten as she came back into the room, wiping the sweat from her face, "I carried that heavy crack head all the way to the top floor and dumped him in the ice machine. No one seems to go up there and I wasn't spotted so we're good however we are still bride less." Tenten flopped down on the couch and rubbed her face this was so stressful, where the heck was Ino. She looked over at Sakura and then Hinata…_wait what the hell_?

"Sakura turn to your left for me." Sakura looked at Tenten strangely and did as told, Hinata walked over to where Tenten was and looked at her point of view. Both of their eyes lit up and Hinata's mouth hung wide open, "Sakura your head." Sakura stared at Hinata and opened her mouth wide as well, "No…your head." Tenten did a double take and looked at Hinata too.

"WHAT THE HELL HOW DID WE NOT NOTICE THIS EARLIER!" Tenten waved her arms around crazy she supposed they were suffering from there hangover and crack head so much they didn't notice, "Sakura you have a giant flower tattooed on your face and Hinata your hair is gone! Well it's actually trimmed down on the sides into a Mohawk, but that is beside the point! What in the heck went on last night!?" Tenten was running her hands on her face to ensure she doesn't have a tattoo on it as well, "You have got to be kidding me?!" Sakura ran to the nearest mirror and examined the tattoo, "My FACE, my beautiful, beautiful FACE! Sasuke is gonna flip when he sees this, I look like a thug!"

Hinata looked in a different mirror and was observing the short cut on the sides and the long hair in the middle, "Cool a Mohawk…" Tenten rolled her eyes the girl was so weird, "Okay look Sakura you can always get that tattoo removed and Hinata…just come over here. Lets just rummage through our clothes and purses to see if we have anything in it that would be of use." Sakura and Hinata did as told, they found receipts, bananas for the monkey and other random stuff until Sakura finally squealed at something. "Kami! This is a note I wrote to myself I guess while I was drunk, it says to pay the bail money this morning. Guy's I…I think Ino's in jail!" Sakura's face was full of shock as she read from the paper.

...

...

..."Hinata…Hinata please stop CRYING!"

* * *

Neji didn't want to hurt the doctor, but they didn't know there way around this place and they NEEDED directions, so violence was the only answer he could think of. Well either way they made it to the foul looking chapel and they were greeted by a hyper elderly man, "AWWW my friends! How are you?!" The man basically attacks them with hugs and kisses on the cheek, he was a short man with long grey hair and small brown eyes. Weird looking guy he was, "What you guys not happy to see me?" The angry look of the man actually startled the boys, "No no no! It's not like that, we're just having a hard time…remembering you." Naruto felt bad for saying this, he liked the old man he even hugged him back!

The man looked at them confused, "Eh how could you forget such an amazing wedding!? Ahhh this guy right here, marrying that lovely looking lady. She is a very attractive lady and I could tell she bought out the…wild side in you! You guys are perfect for each other!" The man was so energetic and passionate about the wedding when he looked at Sasuke, who in return looked at the man like he was insane. "Wait…you're saying I got married?"

The old man shook this head and Sasuke could have died at that very moment, "Ohhh I see now why we were saying 'you're so dead'!" Sasuke didn't even pay Naruto any attention as he was left shocked at the realization that he's married and it's not Sakura. If Sakura found out about this mistake, he would NEVER have his balls back. "Sakura CANNOT find out about this, annul this stupid marriage now." Sasuke was saying this just as the old man's 'wife', who was so young she could be mistaken for his little daughter, came out with their wedding packet gifts. He pulled out one of the gifts from the box and saw a coffee mug with him hugging…

"IT'S HER!" Neji and Naruto who were busy going through the box and wearing Sasuke wedding hats looked up at him, "It's who?" Sasuke dropped the coffee mug back into the box glaring at it, "It's the girl from the hotel earlier the one I told you two about." Naruto took off his hat to look at the picture, "O so this is the chick that hit you in the balls? Tsk teme teme teme, why do you like the girls with giant foreheads and bad tempers?" Neji couldn't help but to laugh at a messed up situation, Sasuke continued to ignore Naruto and paid full attention to the man before him. "I said to annul this…NOW." The guy held up his hands and gave a nervous smile, "I can do that, so sad to see you break such a lovely ladies heart, but I'll do it. However I do need the lovely lady here with me to do it."

Sasuke's eyes began to turn a glowing red and he was showing the man why he was someone not to be messed with, "**No I don't think you need her here**."

"Eh you're right, pfft forget the bimbo. Hey what are you doing just staring at this nice young man huh? Go annul this horrible marriage and give him the paperwork to let him know everything is good!" The young wife scrambled to the back room to handle the paperwork, Sasuke turned around to see Naruto still wearing the hat. He snatched the hat off and ripped it apart, "Jeez Sasuke you could have just asked for the hat." Came Naruto's mumbled reply.

* * *

They were very worried for Ino, but at the same time they were relieved she was okay! As the girls walked through the police station door Sakura was thinking of ways she could joke Ino about being a locked up pregnant women. Tenten walked up to the front desk and held up paperwork to the clerk, "Hi, we paid bail for our friend Yamanaka Ino. They said she was here at this department." The clerk took the paperwork from Tenten and ran it through the system, "Ahh yes, she's in the 'drunk tank' just wait one moment while we get her out."

Hinata had a look of worry on her face, "Ino was drinking while pregnant!?" The clerk shrugged his shoulder and pointed towards the door were a very old lady was wheel chaired out, the lady had grey hair and was smiling at them. "She doesn't look pregnant to me, seems too old. She was indeed drunk though." Tenten's mouth just hung open as she stared at the clerk and at the old lady, "Are you serious? Does this lady look like she's a pregnant woman in her 20's?!" Again the clerk shrugged his shoulders and waved them off.

Sakura bent down towards the elderly lady and spoke in a loud voice, "DO YOU KNOW WHERE OUR FRIEND IS? HER NAME IS INO, SHE HAS BLOND HAIR AND-" The clerk stopped Sakura before she broke someone's eardrum, "Ma'am she doesn't speak, we've been trying to get her to talk but so far we've gotten nothing."

Tenten glared at the man while pointing at the wheel-chaired lady, "And what sir do you expect us to do with her?! She's not who we even paid to bail out!" To her annoyance the clerk once again shrugged his shoulders, "Take her to where all monks around this area live at. It's just up North, here are the directions. They end up here a lot of times because people like you like taking them from their homes for laughs and giggles." Tenten's mouth hung open and then her face turned red with anger, "If you knew this wasn't our friend then why did you waste our time. You could have just said this monk ended up with your friends information!" The clerk put down his pen and stared at Tenten bored, "Ma'am how am I suppose to know this wasn't your friend to begin with? I don't even know you, this ID card on her could have been her years ago. Now don't be mad at me because you and your friends got wasted and lost your other friend now if you want to file a missing per-"

"**Fuck off**." Tenten snatched the directions from the clerk's desk and stormed off with the girls.

As the girls were on their way to the monk's sanctuary, Hinata pulled out some food for the monkey. She gave the adorable monkey the banana and placed it on the older woman's lap for she was pushing her wheelchair. Hinata giggled as the monkey jumped down onto the lady's lap and did something funny, "Oi guys…look!" Hinata said in between giggles, Sakura and Tenten looked down from the map to see the monkey holding the banana up from the woman's crotch area nibbling on the banana making it look like the monkey was giving her a blowjob.

As Hinata laughed at this so were people they were passing by and in the end so was Sakura and Tenten, what weird them out however was the old lady petting the monkey and rolling her head back like she was enjoying it…

* * *

_**Eh, thats the end of this chappie! I'm enjoying where this story is going and hopefully you are too, I figured it would be a little more funny with Hinata and Sakura seeing the haircut and tattoo this chappie. Idk why lol, also I figured what roles I want Neji and Sasuke hopefully you guys can catch on to it! Well see you next time :-) Oh and don't forget to review!**_


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